Call me Jessie.
Twenty| Junior @ Thomas College | Livin' each day with a smile.
I blog what I like, how I feel, & what catches my eye.
I am not an easy person to love. Some days I will whisper how beautiful you are while planting gentle kisses all over your body. You will giggle and try to fight me off and in that moment my heart will have never felt so light.
But other days when my mind is a storm cloud threatening to explode, I will be a bundle of emotions that I cannot quite keep contained. I will be cold, distant, and you will look at me like I am not the same person you fell in love with.
I am a broken light switch. My moods flicker without anyone flipping me on and off. I wake up each morning and wonder which me you will encounter that day. I always hope it is the one who makes you want to stick around.
I am not easy to love. But what I need you to understand is that whether there is a war waging inside of my mind or I am the kind person that you adore, I will always love you.
I will love you in the morning. I will love you when you cry. I will love you when I am angry. I will love you when you’re being stubborn. I will love you when I don’t even love myself. I will love you.
I know that there will be days when you want to give up on me but I am asking you, please don’t. You see, you are the only one who has been able to settle the storm inside of me before I even realize it is surfacing.
I am not easy to love but I promise that I will always put up a fight. And I will love you no matter which me my light switch flips on that day.
The people I have loved in my life have never been easy to love. I’m not used to normal. I’m used to disaster.
if you called me at 4 AM and told me that you needed light in order to live,
I would slide myself out of bed and burn my hands trying to reach every star in the sky
if you needed water I would spend my life searching for the richest river on the planet
I wouldn’t mind drowning in misery for the rest of my life if happiness is the only kind of magic that could keep you alive
if guidance is what you need I would join the three kings as they tracked the east star to get you the help you want
I haven’t been very religious lately but if you needed a miracle I would get on my knees in the middle of the street begging god for his forgiveness and for his mercy
I would reach into my soul and come back with infinity if it meant that this earth wouldn’t have to see a day where you weren’t on it
simply existing doesn’t seem so easy if I don’t get to hear your heartbeat beneath my ear and feel your soft breath on my neck
there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you
why don’t you fucking get that?
Kiss me with your mouth wide open, I want to learn the molecular imprint of your insides.
Kiss me with your eyes closed, I want our eyelashes to hold hands.
It’s okay if your hands are trembling. Mine are, too. I bet the stars are jealous of how we shake and burn.
But more importantly, it pains me to see that you don’t value yourself the way other people value you. You don’t know that you are a catch. Like, I bet this whole idea has never even occurred to you. You could read this entire article and not once think it was about you. It would surprise you that I’ve heard other women be jealous of you. It would shock you to know that men talk about how magnetic and radiant you are. It wouldn’t even cross your mind that these things could happen.
Beyond that though, you are wonderful and lovely. And you have no idea.
I get way too sensitive when I get attached to someone. I can detect the slightest change in the tone of their voice, and suddenly I’m spending all day trying to figure out what I did wrong.
Sometimes you meet someone and even though you
never liked brown eyes before, their eyes are your new favourite colour.